It's a difficult and loaded question - when you do you stop being Dads girlfriend (or Mums boyfriend) and start being a step parent? There are many definitions of "step mother", most of these are specifically related to marriage; many are very longstanding and therefore traditional in their perspective. A couple gets married, buy a … Continue reading When do you become a Step Mum?
When I first became an "unmarried step-mum" Monster didn't have a huge time impact on my life, my partners access was minimal and we had a lot of "free time" to be a couple in our own right. As you will know from my previous posts, this changed - in different ways both gradually and … Continue reading Always be prepared
Ah - the never-ended and never-answered question for a lot of people with Step-parent roles. How do you know when to stop "stepping-up" and step back instead? As I've mentioned in previous posts, the great thing about meeting Monster when he was so small is that I really am part of the furniture, there was … Continue reading Learning to step-back
A fellow step-mum recently prompted me to look back on our first overnight with monster, its very easy now to forget that we haven't always had overnight visits with him and take for granted that at that time.. it was a very big deal. When we first moved into our new house (3 years ago … Continue reading The first overnight
Ask any stepmum about their most stressful time of year and I'm confident the vast majority will mention two things; Step kids birthdays..... and...... Christmas (I'll include thanksgiving here too for the USA based) As it's December and monsters birthday falls in March, of course I'm talking Christmas today. Christmas/ the whole festive season is … Continue reading Christmas Chaos
I love my stepson – it was once a choice to try but now it is as natural to me as I imagine his own fathers love for him is, and I certainly couldn’t decide to stop.
Most imperfect (read: all) 'blended families' will inevitably go through tough times where grown up issues or emotions have an impact on our little ones. In an ideal world, of course this would never happen - the adults would keep their issues with each other and allow the children to carry on with their 'normal' … Continue reading Accepting our different
Up until oh about 4 years ago, I was very focused on my career, I had aspirations to travel and work abroad and I definitely saw Director in my future job titles. I wasn't too bothered by work-life balance, I only was worried about getting recognition for the work I did and the hours I … Continue reading Changing Addresses and Priorities
It definitely sounds strange but one of the things I didn't expect in the early days (the unexpected list is an enormous one) was that when we were without our scheduled contact, I would come to really miss the little monster. It hits me at bizarre times, whether the conkers are falling from the trees … Continue reading Monsterless