Parental Alienation.. it's a term I see quite a lot in fathers rights and Step-Mum groups, although its certainly not just 'Bio-Mums' who are guilty of this. Parental alienation has many levels of 'severity' and is really just becoming recognised in the UK courts / child welfare systems. CAFCASS are now apparently trained in recognising … Continue reading Accidental Alienation
Monsters birthday has always been a weird day in our family, especially for my other half. Previous arrangements have been unsuccessful and I spent a day watching his heart break last year as he waited on a call which never came. This year, with more formal arrangements in place, we were SUPER excited that Monster … Continue reading Monsters 5th Birthday
It's a difficult and loaded question - when you do you stop being Dads girlfriend (or Mums boyfriend) and start being a step parent? There are many definitions of "step mother", most of these are specifically related to marriage; many are very longstanding and therefore traditional in their perspective. A couple gets married, buy a … Continue reading When do you become a Step Mum?
When I first became an "unmarried step-mum" Monster didn't have a huge time impact on my life, my partners access was minimal and we had a lot of "free time" to be a couple in our own right. As you will know from my previous posts, this changed - in different ways both gradually and … Continue reading Always be prepared
Ah - the never-ended and never-answered question for a lot of people with Step-parent roles. How do you know when to stop "stepping-up" and step back instead? As I've mentioned in previous posts, the great thing about meeting Monster when he was so small is that I really am part of the furniture, there was … Continue reading Learning to step-back
Ask any stepmum about their most stressful time of year and I'm confident the vast majority will mention two things; Step kids birthdays..... and...... Christmas (I'll include thanksgiving here too for the USA based) As it's December and monsters birthday falls in March, of course I'm talking Christmas today. Christmas/ the whole festive season is … Continue reading Christmas Chaos
I love my stepson – it was once a choice to try but now it is as natural to me as I imagine his own fathers love for him is, and I certainly couldn’t decide to stop.
Most imperfect (read: all) 'blended families' will inevitably go through tough times where grown up issues or emotions have an impact on our little ones. In an ideal world, of course this would never happen - the adults would keep their issues with each other and allow the children to carry on with their 'normal' … Continue reading Accepting our different
It definitely sounds strange but one of the things I didn't expect in the early days (the unexpected list is an enormous one) was that when we were without our scheduled contact, I would come to really miss the little monster. It hits me at bizarre times, whether the conkers are falling from the trees … Continue reading Monsterless