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Unmarried StepMum

Becoming a parent and falling in love

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The 5th Birthday Bake

April 6, 2018April 6, 20181 Comment

The brief - "Hulk in a Fast Car"...

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Love this illustration by @thepsychologymum which is of course becoming a biological parent. MUCH of this (physical aspects aside) also applies for becoming a step parent. BUT when you’re becoming a stepmum or stepdad, you’re generally going through it alone. It is SO important to acknowledge and be aware of your mental health throughout. Not looking after yourself means you won’t be able to look after anyone else so take some time out, love yourself and recognise what a life changing, incredible journey you are bravely embarking on. #mentalhealth #becomingaparent #newparent #blendedfamily #stepparenting #stepmum #stepmom #stepdad #lookafteryourself

With princess Beatrice announcing her engagement 💍 we have our first PRINCESS STEPMUM!! And Beatrice - if you ever need a chat, drop me a line 😉 #royalfamily #princessstepmother #fudisney #welcometotheclub #unmarriedstepmum #princessbeatrice #stepmom #stepmum #blendedfamily

I had a little reminder this morning... Everything I share is my own opinion based on my own experience and anecdotes from blended family groups. Of course, I believe my own opinion but I’m certainly not afraid to be challenged. In fact, I really enjoy it - it makes me take a moment to reflect and re-examine my feelings and thoughts. Sometimes people just read your words differently than you spoke (typed) them, sometimes there is a fundamental difference of opinion. I’m perfectly happy to try and explain myself or gain an insight into others views, I won’t necessarily change my opinion but I’m open to it! If, like me, you are mostly viewing content and talking to be people in similar circumstances it’s really easy to lose sight of the bigger picture every now and then - if you think I have PLEASE call me out on it 😊 #blendedfamily #perspective #opentodebate #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #family #unmarriedstepmum #challenge #opinions

I have been saying this to myself and my family for a long time and today I realised they really have. I was looking for some old notes and came across my “access issues” list from a few years ago. Now things may not be perfect, there are still issues and frustrations but things are SO much better than they were. When we are scheduled to collect Monster - we do. We have foresight for the next 12 months - we don’t have random dates sent through every couple of weeks. We don’t have to account for Monsters every movement when he’s with us - we’re in control of our time. We not only know what school Monster is going to but we get to be involved and take him to his first day. We have a system for documenting and communication which works. I don’t have any spreadsheets or notebooks full of references.. And those are GREAT things! It’s easy to just focus on what’s difficult right now but through the perspective of what was... today is so much easier than yesterday. #stepmum #stepmom #custody #stepson #paperwork #positivity #thingsgetbetter #reflections #coparenting #parallelparenting #unmarriedstepmum

As a stepmum and just as a person, we are pulled in so many directions by all the people, emotions, situations and stuff in our lives - it’s a wonder sometimes we make any progress at all. Take some time out to: 1) Identify and reflect on what your enablers and blockers are right now (remember sometimes very good things can hold us back and bog us down and sometimes awful things are just the propulsion we need!) 2) Devise an action plan to strengthen your enablers and remove some of those blocks or work on accepting and shifting your expectations and move the goalposts. 3) DO IT!! Whether you’re planning the next 5 years or just trying to make it through the week - be realistic and go easy on yourself!! I can’t think of a tenth as many forces as influencers on my life and look how long it took us to learn to fly. #stepmum #balancingact #lookafteryou #puttingyoufirst #lifebalance #stepmom #stepmomlife #blendedfamily #love #family #yougotthis

After a fabulous family summer, we begin our 2 week stint without Monster then just a couple more days before schools back in September. It’s always a very strange goodbye - honestly we’re knackered and could really use a rest but we’re so used to having the little man round 24/7 that being without him is super hard..... And then we have to deal with his first day of year 2 - I have absolutely no idea where the last 5.5 years have gone!! #bittersweet #stepmom #stepmum #blendedfamily #stepson #summer #summerholidays #missinghimalready #familytime #family #love

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This is my one-sided view of our journey to becoming a family. An honest opinion on the trials, tribulations and hopefully some of the joy.

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