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Unmarried StepMum

Becoming a parent and falling in love

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The 5th Birthday Bake

April 6, 2018April 6, 20181 Comment

The brief - "Hulk in a Fast Car"...

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First I hope everyone celebrating had a wonderful Stepmothering Sunday yesterday! And for those who didn’t I hope you had some time for yourself to enjoy some “you time”. It’s mental health awareness week with the theme of kindness and something I wanted to talk about is how we can be kind to each other. . Being a stepmum can be isolating and lonely sometimes, we can face all kinds of judgment and prejudice from a lot of angles - some expected and some not. . But one place I see a lot of judgment is within stepmum communities. The kind which irks me most is whether or not you have “earned” the Stepmum badge: . - you’re not married - you haven’t been together long enough - you don’t have the kid(s) enough - their mum is super involved - their mum is so easy to handle - you’re overstepping - you need to step up - your partner isn’t standing up for you - your partner should put his kids over you . Any of that sound familiar? . I have my own views on my own journey to being ready to think of myself as a stepmum, but it’s not the same as many others and probably not the same as yours. . My experience of being a stepmum is mine and mine alone. Nobody has the same experience as me. My experience is not more or less than anyone else’s. . My relationship with monster is not more or less than any one else’s. And for me, my relationship with monster is separate to my relationship with his dad. So let’s try and treat each other with kindness and empathy. An every day occurrence for you might feel like somebody else’s rock bottom or it might be the highlight of their year. Celebrate with them, try to feel their pain or just scroll on by ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💖 #showalittlelove #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #stepmother #blendedfamily #bekind #mentalhealthawareness #community #family #love #positivity #nojudgement #unmarriedstepmum

If there’s one thing you need to prepare for... but couldn’t possibly prepare for in a blended family it’s the highest highs coupled with the lowest lows. After 5 weeks without Monster, last week we were able to have him home again! It’s so tough to go such a long time without a very important member of your household and honestly brought back some very tough memories. But this time was different - we were doing our best to protect and love him from afar. The sheer joy of a reunion is pretty overwhelming... for us all I think! We had a weekend FULL of the most insane amount of cuddles and fun which was just amazing. I can however confirm, 5 weeks is enough time for your mind and body to become lazy and unaccustomed to the always on energy switch of a 7 year old! 😴😴 #blendedfamily #highsandlows #joy #familytime #family #lockdownlife #custodymatters #covid19 #coronavirus #unmarriedstepmum #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #love #lovemakesafamily

Today we join many others in lockdown. Before you complain about missing a hair appointment or not being able to buy a new outfit, take a minute and think about the families missing a member. Unless the guidance changes, we will be without access to my stepson, my partners son for at least 3 weeks. I have been very excited to have finished my greenhouse today, which is full off seeds to plant with monster. Monster and I were so excited we actually started a couple last week. Today I got everything ready for his arrival tomorrow and honestly I am devastated. My partner is devastated. This really could have been avoided by idiots staying the fuck home. #stayhome #sharedcustody #heartbreak #lockdown #isolation #coronavirus #covid_19 #blendedfamily #unmarriedstepmum #stepmom #misshimalready #stepson

Ah covid-19 what a joyous time we’re all having. EVERYTHING is difficult and challenging right now and we are not yet in lockdown in the UK or really have many major changes compared to most of the world. But the one thing which we know may be complicated is child access arrangements. How are stepmum a of the UK handling it so far? We’re BAU for now but sure it will be discussed soon. Global stepmums - how are you holding up? Are you enjoying regular access or experiencing new issues? Sending lots of love and positivity- keep safe, be cautious and wash your bloody hands 💙💙 #blendedfamily #stepmum #stepmom #stepkids #stepson #stepmomsofinstagram #custody #childaccess #covid_19 #lockdown #itscomplicated #coronavirusuk #coronavirus #staysafe

Let’s be honest, sometimes being a stepmum is hard, sometimes it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. On those days it’s easy to start wondering why you keep trying and to think of giving up, making less effort and trying to stop caring. Sometimes it’s effortless, joyful and easy. On those days you forgot how hard you work and how many sacrifices you’ve made and continue to make to make your family thrive. Whether today is a tough day or a beautiful day - never lose your WHY. There is a reason we are here, in the relationships we are in and bonding with the children we have grown / are growing to love. If the tough days are becoming too frequent, hang in there, take some time out and reset. Do whatever it is you need to do to bring peace to your mind and a growing joy to your heart 💙❤️💙 #stepmum #unmarriedstepmum #stepmom #stepmomsofinstagram #bonusmom #blendedfamily #theresarainbowaftertherain #stepfamily #family #stepkids #familylife #blendedfamilylife

Had a minor freak out at Monsters teacher today... We’ve had really good access for about 3 years now, but when his teacher saw me and said “oh he isn’t here now” I was right back 3.5 years ago at the start of our Monsterless 6 months. A look of horror crossed my face as I exclaimed “he’s already been collected?! By who?!?!?” Instant panic coursed through my body - I could physically feel it rushing in the 2.5 seconds before she replied “oh no, he’s here just not in the classroom, let me go and get him”. Of course his current teacher doesn’t know our speckled history and nor does she need to... but she probably does now think I’m a ridiculous drama queen! 👸🤦🏻‍♀️ Funny how the things we think we left behind can come flooding back in the space of such an innocent sentence! #Unmarriedstepmum #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #panicmode #overreaction #lettinggo #custody #childcustody #fml

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This is my one-sided view of our journey to becoming a family. An honest opinion on the trials, tribulations and hopefully some of the joy.

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