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Unmarried StepMum

Becoming a parent and falling in love

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Tag: becoming a stepmum

When do you become a Step Mum?

March 27, 2018April 7, 20183 Comments

It's a difficult and loaded question - when you do you stop being Dads girlfriend (or Mums boyfriend) and start being a step parent? There are many definitions of "step mother", most of these are specifically related to marriage; many are very longstanding and therefore traditional in their perspective. A couple gets married, buy a … Continue reading When do you become a Step Mum?

The Man in the Middle

February 14, 2018February 16, 2018Leave a comment

As it's St. Valentines day - a celebration of love and affection, I decided to dedicate this post to all the men who make being a Step-Mother seem like a wonderful idea! More specifically to my man, who washes out all the negativity and makes our life amazing through the most trying of circumstances. I … Continue reading The Man in the Middle

A love like no other

December 8, 2017December 27, 2017Leave a comment

I love my stepson – it was once a choice to try but now it is as natural to me as I imagine his own fathers love for him is, and I certainly couldn’t decide to stop.

Accepting our different

December 3, 2017December 2, 2017Leave a comment

Most imperfect (read: all) 'blended families' will inevitably go through tough times where grown up issues or emotions have an impact on our little ones. In an ideal world, of course this would never happen - the adults would keep their issues with each other and allow the children to carry on with their 'normal' … Continue reading Accepting our different

Changing Addresses and Priorities

November 30, 2017November 30, 2017Leave a comment

Up until oh about 4 years ago, I was very focused on my career, I had aspirations to travel and work abroad and I definitely saw Director in my future job titles. I wasn't too bothered by work-life balance, I only was worried about getting recognition for the work I did and the hours I … Continue reading Changing Addresses and Priorities

What’s in a name?

July 1, 2017November 27, 20171 Comment

Helen, Hel, Helen Belen, Hells Bells, Mummy, Mama, MamaBear, Stepmummy, Mama Helen..., the list of names the little monster calls me is a very long one. I remember, around a year or so ago, the first stage of the monster calling me 'Mummy', honestly I was pretty horrified and extremely uncomfortable with just the concept … Continue reading What’s in a name?

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🥺😭😭 First week back at school is tough! Although to be honest so is the first week back at work after the Christmas break! We’ve probably all felt like crying into our dinner at least once this week... and cutting a fried egg IS pretty boring 😂 #overtired #backtoschool #imnottired #earlymornings #routine #stepson #stepmumlife #stepmom #unmarriedstepmum #5yearsold #kidstagram
So Monster has discovered Pinterest.. at 5. Beautifully, he created a board just for things he thinks I will love (I had ones for him and his daddy). However, he has also pinned this cinnamon and turmeric milk on ALL my boards from sewing to baking to gift ideas.... and thinks he’s hilarious... help!! #stepmumlife #stepmom #stepson #pintrest #deleting #lettherebeorder #5yearsold #turmericmilk #givemestrength
What does FAMILY mean? When do you become one? Recent conversations have got me reflecting on this in way too much detail! I started talking about my “household” as a “family unit” pretty soon after we were all under the same roof. For me we are a “family” unit because, we live together, we have shared finances and responsibilities, we operate as one unit, we are committed to each other indefinitely and most important we love each other. BUT we don’t share a common name and we haven’t made this commitment legally binding - we’re not married... does this mean we are in fact not a family? For me it’s a resounding NO! But I’m open to the conversation.. When did you become a family? #family #blendedfamily #stepfamily #stepmum #stepmom #unmarriedstepmum #household #love #opentodebate #thoughtsplease #dictionarydefinitions #society #marriage #stepmumlife #letssettlethis
My relationship with Monster is so easy, so natural and amazingly rewarding. My relationship with just about everyone else ABOUT me being “just his Dads partner” is sometimes THE most difficult thing to deal with. For the most parts it comes from complete ignorance and lack of understanding, I know that but sometimes it’s super hard not to take to heart. #stepmum #stepmomlife #stepson #blendedfamily #ignorantpeople #keepcalm #judgement #chinup #dadsgirlfriend #putalabelonit #unmarriedstepmum
Before Monster, holiday meant either a trip away or a week of lie ins, late nights and generally chilling out... it would certainly never involve cancelling a party to get back into 7pm bedtimes!! With Monster, holiday means days out, constant entertainment, boundless energy, early mornings and chore filled evenings. I may not feel refreshed and a week has gone faster than an episode of storybots but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now it’s time to readjust my brain back into work mode and slowly remember that monster won’t be here every night - for some reason this usually takes my brain the longest, we’ll be shushing each other and panicking about the evening routine before realising it’s just the two of us again! #blendedfamily #unmarriedstepmum #stepmumlife #stepmom #stepson #timetoadjust #holiday #halfterm #back2school #back2work #schedules #howisitsundayalready #needmoretime #moretiredthanever
This morning was one of those weird goodbyes with Monster where he has 9 sleeps at his other home due to the school holidays. In some ways it’s nice to know I’ll get to sleep in and get some much needed rest but we’ll MISS him!! It’s so important for us to remain positive and excited for him but when it’s 7am and I’m running on empty it’s kinda hard not to say “I’ll miss your little face!!” #blendedfamily #stepmumlife #stepmom #stepson #misshimalready #absencemakestheheartgrowfonder #adulting #unmarriedstepmum #letkidsbekids #itsstillwierd

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About my Blog

This is my one-sided view of our journey to becoming  a family. An honest opinion on the trials, tribulations and hopefully some of the joy.

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