Unmarried StepMum

Becoming a parent and falling in love

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Category: Holidays

Monsters 5th Birthday

April 7, 2018April 7, 20181 Comment

Monsters birthday has always been a weird day in our family, especially for my other half. Previous arrangements have been unsuccessful and I spent a day watching his heart break last year as he waited on a call which never came. This year, with more formal arrangements in place, we were SUPER excited that Monster … Continue reading Monsters 5th Birthday

The 5th Birthday Bake

April 6, 2018April 6, 20181 Comment

The brief - "Hulk in a Fast Car"...

Christmas Chaos

December 18, 2017December 18, 2017Leave a comment

Ask any stepmum about their most stressful time of year and I'm confident the vast majority will mention two things; Step kids birthdays..... and...... Christmas (I'll include thanksgiving here too for the USA based) As it's December and monsters birthday falls in March, of course I'm talking Christmas today. Christmas/ the whole festive season is … Continue reading Christmas Chaos

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Honestly it’s not the most balanced piece and it leaves a lot unsaid... BUT there’s an article in @womanandhome about blended families at Christmas! Normalising the non-nuclear family in media is something I feel very strongly about and it makes me so happy to see thought being given to blended family dynamics in the holidays. #blendedfamily #nonnuclearfamily #stepmum #stepfamily #unmarriedstepmum #christmasiscoming #holidays

I had a really interesting chat this week which made me reflect on blended families and the trauma we can all be exposed to. I don’t use this word lightly but I do mean it - trauma and situations which can stay with a person for years and impact life, relationships, mental health and wellbeing. We often think about trauma and how it impacts children in the blended family dynamic - parental alienation, narcissism etc. Parents and the impact of a failed relationship, separation from their children etc etc. Being a step-parent can also bring traumatic events and emotional trauma - when things happen “to” our loved ones, they are happening to us too, when we are the one our families lean on and seek comfort from, that impacts us too. Or sometimes when we become heavily involved in custody cases, preparing papers and evidence, perhaps even as a named issue - that can be really tough to come back from. This is just a reminder that as a stepparent, your mental health and wellness is SO important - to you and to your family. You need to allow yourself to feel all your emotions, which are ALWAYS valid and then also allow yourself the time and space to recover - if that means finding somebody to talk to, taking a weekend away or just having a good soak in the bath, that is time well spent and should be right at the TOP of the priority list. #trauma #selfcare #blendedfamily #stepmum #stepmom #stepparent #wellbeing #mentalhealth #bekindtoyourself #worldkindnessday

How do you make sure you get enough down time? Between events, weddings, work, health issues, family time, house work and half term we’re both feeling a bit burned out. Our “downtime” has been filled with housework, trying to actually be sociable, seeing family and some more housework. Neither of us can relax when the house the messy and neither of us seem able to keep it in order when we’re busy or have monster for more than a few days. Any top tips on switching off and really recuperating? #stepmum #stepmumlife #stepmomlife #stepson #familylife #blendedfamily #downtime #burnout #recovery #rest #relaxation #ustime #unmarriedstepmum

Love this illustration by @thepsychologymum which is of course becoming a biological parent. MUCH of this (physical aspects aside) also applies for becoming a step parent. BUT when you’re becoming a stepmum or stepdad, you’re generally going through it alone. It is SO important to acknowledge and be aware of your mental health throughout. Not looking after yourself means you won’t be able to look after anyone else so take some time out, love yourself and recognise what a life changing, incredible journey you are bravely embarking on. #mentalhealth #becomingaparent #newparent #blendedfamily #stepparenting #stepmum #stepmom #stepdad #lookafteryourself

With princess Beatrice announcing her engagement 💍 we have our first PRINCESS STEPMUM!! And Beatrice - if you ever need a chat, drop me a line 😉 #royalfamily #princessstepmother #fudisney #welcometotheclub #unmarriedstepmum #princessbeatrice #stepmom #stepmum #blendedfamily

I had a little reminder this morning... Everything I share is my own opinion based on my own experience and anecdotes from blended family groups. Of course, I believe my own opinion but I’m certainly not afraid to be challenged. In fact, I really enjoy it - it makes me take a moment to reflect and re-examine my feelings and thoughts. Sometimes people just read your words differently than you spoke (typed) them, sometimes there is a fundamental difference of opinion. I’m perfectly happy to try and explain myself or gain an insight into others views, I won’t necessarily change my opinion but I’m open to it! If, like me, you are mostly viewing content and talking to be people in similar circumstances it’s really easy to lose sight of the bigger picture every now and then - if you think I have PLEASE call me out on it 😊 #blendedfamily #perspective #opentodebate #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #family #unmarriedstepmum #challenge #opinions

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This is my one-sided view of our journey to becoming a family. An honest opinion on the trials, tribulations and hopefully some of the joy.

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