Unmarried StepMum

Becoming a parent and falling in love

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Category: Crafts

The 5th Birthday Bake

April 6, 2018April 6, 20181 Comment

The brief - "Hulk in a Fast Car"...

The 4th Birthday Bake

July 19, 2017November 28, 2017Leave a comment

The little monsters birthday cake has become something of a drama in our house - I enjoy baking and will occasionally attempt a bit of cake sculpting (see last years Dinosaur cake). Monsters birthday is in March.. we probably started talking about the cake in January and he was insistent that he wanted 'Bumblebee' (the … Continue reading The 4th Birthday Bake

Dinosaur birthday cake

April 21, 2016April 22, 2016Leave a comment

Here is a birthday cake I made last month for the little monsters 3rd birthday. All in all I think was about 10 hours work but that did include baking 3 cakes! Monster is gluten and dairy free so this was made with a gluten free flour blend and vitalite spread which can make for … Continue reading Dinosaur birthday cake

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Let’s be honest, sometimes being a stepmum is hard, sometimes it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. On those days it’s easy to start wondering why you keep trying and to think of giving up, making less effort and trying to stop caring. Sometimes it’s effortless, joyful and easy. On those days you forgot how hard you work and how many sacrifices you’ve made and continue to make to make your family thrive. Whether today is a tough day or a beautiful day - never lose your WHY. There is a reason we are here, in the relationships we are in and bonding with the children we have grown / are growing to love. If the tough days are becoming too frequent, hang in there, take some time out and reset. Do whatever it is you need to do to bring peace to your mind and a growing joy to your heart 💙❤️💙 #stepmum #unmarriedstepmum #stepmom #stepmomsofinstagram #bonusmom #blendedfamily #theresarainbowaftertherain #stepfamily #family #stepkids #familylife #blendedfamilylife

Had a minor freak out at Monsters teacher today... We’ve had really good access for about 3 years now, but when his teacher saw me and said “oh he isn’t here now” I was right back 3.5 years ago at the start of our Monsterless 6 months. A look of horror crossed my face as I exclaimed “he’s already been collected?! By who?!?!?” Instant panic coursed through my body - I could physically feel it rushing in the 2.5 seconds before she replied “oh no, he’s here just not in the classroom, let me go and get him”. Of course his current teacher doesn’t know our speckled history and nor does she need to... but she probably does now think I’m a ridiculous drama queen! 👸🤦🏻‍♀️ Funny how the things we think we left behind can come flooding back in the space of such an innocent sentence! #Unmarriedstepmum #stepmum #stepmom #stepson #panicmode #overreaction #lettinggo #custody #childcustody #fml

Every Christmas in a blended family (hell even a nuclear family) brings its own challenges and joys, sometimes the balance tips one way and sometimes the other. After a year of bad health and 2 days planned with HCMIL, I am not looking forward to Christmas this year, in fact I am dreading it. Usually I would be super excited by this point, but honestly my mantra has been “I just need to get through Christmas...” and that’s ok. I am excited to see Monsters face on our Christmas morning (Christmas Eve) and I’m looking forward to the post Christmas holidays. I don’t expect to have a great Christmas this year, I have set my boundaries and I will be sticking to them and I will do my best to enjoy all the little moments I can. If you’re having a similar year, please don’t feel guilty and try not to get wrapped up in the pressure for everything to be perfect - life isn’t perfect the other 364 days of the year either! As ever your health and wellbeing must come first and you must protect yourself before anything else. Happy holidays!!! ❤️❤️ #blendedfamily #mentalhealth #unmarriedstepmum #christmas #christmasplanning #stepson #family #oknottobeok

Honestly it’s not the most balanced piece and it leaves a lot unsaid... BUT there’s an article in @womanandhome about blended families at Christmas! Normalising the non-nuclear family in media is something I feel very strongly about and it makes me so happy to see thought being given to blended family dynamics in the holidays. #blendedfamily #nonnuclearfamily #stepmum #stepfamily #unmarriedstepmum #christmasiscoming #holidays

I had a really interesting chat this week which made me reflect on blended families and the trauma we can all be exposed to. I don’t use this word lightly but I do mean it - trauma and situations which can stay with a person for years and impact life, relationships, mental health and wellbeing. We often think about trauma and how it impacts children in the blended family dynamic - parental alienation, narcissism etc. Parents and the impact of a failed relationship, separation from their children etc etc. Being a step-parent can also bring traumatic events and emotional trauma - when things happen “to” our loved ones, they are happening to us too, when we are the one our families lean on and seek comfort from, that impacts us too. Or sometimes when we become heavily involved in custody cases, preparing papers and evidence, perhaps even as a named issue - that can be really tough to come back from. This is just a reminder that as a stepparent, your mental health and wellness is SO important - to you and to your family. You need to allow yourself to feel all your emotions, which are ALWAYS valid and then also allow yourself the time and space to recover - if that means finding somebody to talk to, taking a weekend away or just having a good soak in the bath, that is time well spent and should be right at the TOP of the priority list. #trauma #selfcare #blendedfamily #stepmum #stepmom #stepparent #wellbeing #mentalhealth #bekindtoyourself #worldkindnessday

How do you make sure you get enough down time? Between events, weddings, work, health issues, family time, house work and half term we’re both feeling a bit burned out. Our “downtime” has been filled with housework, trying to actually be sociable, seeing family and some more housework. Neither of us can relax when the house the messy and neither of us seem able to keep it in order when we’re busy or have monster for more than a few days. Any top tips on switching off and really recuperating? #stepmum #stepmumlife #stepmomlife #stepson #familylife #blendedfamily #downtime #burnout #recovery #rest #relaxation #ustime #unmarriedstepmum

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This is my one-sided view of our journey to becoming a family. An honest opinion on the trials, tribulations and hopefully some of the joy.

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