We've all been there - whether it's the Sainsbury's cashier or a kids party host, people will constantly make the assumption that you are Mum. In the next 3 seconds, your brain works at super speed trying to decide whether it's worth correcting and for us unmarried Stepmums in particular, what to correct to.I've probably … Continue reading StepMums Imposter Syndrome
Parental Alienation.. it's a term I see quite a lot in fathers rights and Step-Mum groups, although its certainly not just 'Bio-Mums' who are guilty of this. Parental alienation has many levels of 'severity' and is really just becoming recognised in the UK courts / child welfare systems. CAFCASS are now apparently trained in recognising … Continue reading Accidental Alienation
For the first few years of my relationship with my partner and Monster, I (intentionally and willingly) made almost everything about them, they were pretty much the only people on my priority list. If I had plans and then we ended up having Monster.. it was an easy decision, my plans were cancelled. This does … Continue reading Not just a StepMum
Monsters birthday has always been a weird day in our family, especially for my other half. Previous arrangements have been unsuccessful and I spent a day watching his heart break last year as he waited on a call which never came. This year, with more formal arrangements in place, we were SUPER excited that Monster … Continue reading Monsters 5th Birthday
It's a difficult and loaded question - when you do you stop being Dads girlfriend (or Mums boyfriend) and start being a step parent? There are many definitions of "step mother", most of these are specifically related to marriage; many are very longstanding and therefore traditional in their perspective. A couple gets married, buy a … Continue reading When do you become a Step Mum?
When I first became an "unmarried step-mum" Monster didn't have a huge time impact on my life, my partners access was minimal and we had a lot of "free time" to be a couple in our own right. As you will know from my previous posts, this changed - in different ways both gradually and … Continue reading Always be prepared
As it's St. Valentines day - a celebration of love and affection, I decided to dedicate this post to all the men who make being a Step-Mother seem like a wonderful idea! More specifically to my man, who washes out all the negativity and makes our life amazing through the most trying of circumstances. I … Continue reading The Man in the Middle
Ah - the never-ended and never-answered question for a lot of people with Step-parent roles. How do you know when to stop "stepping-up" and step back instead? As I've mentioned in previous posts, the great thing about meeting Monster when he was so small is that I really am part of the furniture, there was … Continue reading Learning to step-back
A fellow step-mum recently prompted me to look back on our first overnight with monster, its very easy now to forget that we haven't always had overnight visits with him and take for granted that at that time.. it was a very big deal. When we first moved into our new house (3 years ago … Continue reading The first overnight
