What I did wrong in 2017

I wasn’t intending on a New Year post at all this year, but as always the dawn of a new year has got me thinking about the 365 days past and those to come.

2017 was definitely a year of extremes in our house, with some of the happiest times of my life and with no contest the most stressful and difficult. We had our first solo family holiday (without any in-laws), which was pretty magical, camping with Monster for the first time (outside the garden), birthday celebrations, theatre trips, awesome days out and a whole lot of loving. Alongside this, we also had four months without Monster and a whole barrage of tremendous stress, documentation and procedure to go about rectifying it.

Of course, I really hope that we never have another year like the last one, but if we do, the experience of going through it once will hopefully better prepare us to deal with any similar situation. We can’t live our life based on anybody’s wishes but our own, we can’t  second guess everything we do or make choices based on fear ever again. We have to believe that by doing our best for Monster, everything will be alright and have confidence in the system supporting us.

This time last year, I set myself a number of goals, mostly the usual – exercise more (read: at all), eat healthier, spend more time on hobbies etc etc, pretty much all of this went out of the window month by month. Because we have always put Monster first, he has all of our commitment, energy and focus, – whether he is with us or not. Everything else becomes pretty irrelevant if we have the chance to see him or if we have an obstacle to battle against. I did not achieve 8 of my 10 goals set, and even if there were good reasons… failing does not feel good.

Confession – that wasn’t the right thing to do. By always putting Monster first, I have forgotten about my own needs – socialising, exercising, meal-planning; you name it – its been dropped. So have I been at my best this year? Absolutely not. I have been massively suffering from stress, every cold virus thats existed in a mile of me, extreme tiredness, vitamin deficiencies, struggling to maintain my weight, the list goes on.

So for 2018, Im not making myself an annual list of goals, or even resolutions – the only focus I will try to maintain is enjoying myself and enjoying my family. Part of this means putting me first sometimes, and making sure I do the things I want to do – as and when I want to do them. Fingers crossed – I might even get a holiday with my other half! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve totally signed up to a “New Year, New You” programme so definitely still hoping to make some changes for the better but with no pressure this time. Part of having a ‘blended family’ is having to roll with punches and adapt as you go, I’m not going to make it any more difficult for myself than it already can be!

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