We've all been there - whether it's the Sainsbury's cashier or a kids party host, people will constantly make the assumption that you are Mum. In the next 3 seconds, your brain works at super speed trying to decide whether it's worth correcting and for us unmarried Stepmums in particular, what to correct to.I've probably … Continue reading StepMums Imposter Syndrome
Parental Alienation.. it's a term I see quite a lot in fathers rights and Step-Mum groups, although its certainly not just 'Bio-Mums' who are guilty of this. Parental alienation has many levels of 'severity' and is really just becoming recognised in the UK courts / child welfare systems. CAFCASS are now apparently trained in recognising … Continue reading Accidental Alienation
For the first few years of my relationship with my partner and Monster, I (intentionally and willingly) made almost everything about them, they were pretty much the only people on my priority list. If I had plans and then we ended up having Monster.. it was an easy decision, my plans were cancelled. This does … Continue reading Not just a StepMum
Monsters birthday has always been a weird day in our family, especially for my other half. Previous arrangements have been unsuccessful and I spent a day watching his heart break last year as he waited on a call which never came. This year, with more formal arrangements in place, we were SUPER excited that Monster … Continue reading Monsters 5th Birthday
The brief - "Hulk in a Fast Car"...
It's a difficult and loaded question - when you do you stop being Dads girlfriend (or Mums boyfriend) and start being a step parent? There are many definitions of "step mother", most of these are specifically related to marriage; many are very longstanding and therefore traditional in their perspective. A couple gets married, buy a … Continue reading When do you become a Step Mum?
When I first became an "unmarried step-mum" Monster didn't have a huge time impact on my life, my partners access was minimal and we had a lot of "free time" to be a couple in our own right. As you will know from my previous posts, this changed - in different ways both gradually and … Continue reading Always be prepared
As it's St. Valentines day - a celebration of love and affection, I decided to dedicate this post to all the men who make being a Step-Mother seem like a wonderful idea! More specifically to my man, who washes out all the negativity and makes our life amazing through the most trying of circumstances. I … Continue reading The Man in the Middle
Ah - the never-ended and never-answered question for a lot of people with Step-parent roles. How do you know when to stop "stepping-up" and step back instead? As I've mentioned in previous posts, the great thing about meeting Monster when he was so small is that I really am part of the furniture, there was … Continue reading Learning to step-back